


Red Bull gives you wiiiiiiiings~

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [33]
Category: nonfandom
Genre: Crack, Gen, Multi, excessive drug use, police drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-28 19:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13910709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: A perp has a burger and the cops are gonna arrest him. Oh no he has red bull.





	Red Bull gives you wiiiiiiiings~

**Author's Note:**

> Trust me- this is the only fanfiction in the world that alternates between poorly written angst and over the top crack fics about miscellaneous objects.
> 
> ((EDIT- Well... series. But at the time of writing it was a single fanfic of 65 oneshots and over 100 tags.))
> 
> I have at least 30 more object-related prompts, including cabbages and ping pong balls eating Pluto. Congrats.
> 
> Aka I lose sleep writing these which is why some days I don't write them, so I wrote a crackfic because they're fun, easy and I really love writing them.
> 
> TW- Drug use, crack, death???, god

Miscellaneous cop 1 rolled round the street on his heavy duty police motorbike, a pipe firmly wedged between his teeth as he chased the perp.

Burger clutched in his hand, the hoodie wearing miscreant dashed round the corner like an apple crunching lunatic, too slow for the motorbike but with enough agility to evade it.

Miscellaneous cop 2 munched aggressively on some raw weed whilst miscellaneous cop 3 shot some heroin. It was lunch time, and they were all very hungry even though they were meant to be catching the perp.

He ate the burger and everyone screamed aggressively. Then, as misc cop 2 tried to shoot him, he produced his secret weapon...

"HE'S GOT A RED BULL!!!!!" Misc cop 3 screamed.

Everyone ducked for cover.

BAM!

The perp drank the red bull in one gulp and miscellaneously grew a pair of gigantic sugoi angel wings. He flew away In A Heartbeat whilst eating the burger. Everyone cried as they licked some shame LSD.

The cops were fired.

The perp became God and blew up the multiverse.

And it was all because of Red Bull, and of course, Mamayu chan.

THE EXDND!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt- AU where drugs are just normal food and food gets you high.
> 
> Apparently red bull gives you wings and divine powers too.
> 
> Original Number- 145.
> 
> Sorry I'm really tired T - T


End file.
